Til Death Do Us Part: The Top 5 Regrets of the Dying

Ok, I know this sounds like a morbid topic, but let me explain.

We all have special moments in life when the big picture seems more clear than at other times.  For many the end of life provides a unique time to reflect back on it all and ask, "Did I truly pursue the most worthy things in life."

Bronnie Ware worked for many years in hospice and end-of-life care work.  She walked numerous people through their last days.  During those years, as she sat and talked with men and women in their twilight days, she found a few recurring regrets and shared those in her book: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing.

The book is worth the read so my little summary barely scratches the surface.  However, over the next few weeks, I hope to share the five regrets and see how they relate to marriage.

Regret #1:
"I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

Beth and I entered marriage with really good hearts: we wanted to be all that the other wanted.  That is really good...to a point. 

We found, over time, that the desire to please sometimes hides, sometimes intentionally and other times not, some realities about ourselves.  For example, I was not aware just how much of an introvert I really was for years.  But since Beth enjoyed people so much I willingly let our schedule fill up with activities that I found drained me and even at times pushed me to surliness.  We had to learn together how to accommodate my need for solitude.

Beth, in her desire to be a "good wife," often ignored her enjoyment of a creative outlet.  She threw herself into domestic needs, but didn't pursue some of the things she really enjoyed.  That's when I encouraged her to really go for it creatively.  She then started Beth Maechner Photography and we ran a successful portrait business for quite a few years before she decided it was time to go a different direction. 

So what would it look like if you were to live life more true to yourself?  How could your spouse help with this?

What would it look like for your spouse to live more true to him or herself?  What could you do to enable them to live it?

Worthy questions!