Do you COW your spouse with HOW?

Andy Stanley, successful author, entrepreneur, and pastor, in discussing how to face challenges, said,

"Bold leaders refuse to be cowed by 'how.'"

Every idea can be beaten down by the question, "How?"  But every adventure, from imagining a personal computer to making an airplane, begins by initially ignoring this concern.  "How?" must be addressed at some point, but at the beginning it will crush the chance for a small seed to take root.

When your spouse has an idea that they are excited about, do you greet it with "How?"

It's easy to say, "I'm a realist."  That's fine, but are you crushing your spouse's ability to dream?

My wife is a dreamer.  She often comes up with grand ideas.  I used to lambast them with "How?" until they went away.  But then I realized two things:

1. That's not how she meets my dreams.  She was always willing to entertain my ideas with grace and enthusiasm.  Couldn't I give her the same?

2. I'm the one person in my wife's life with the chance to hear her deepest dreams--Don't blow it.  Will I stomp on that privilege or be her hero?

This is not about ignoring reality.  I often find that, if I greet my wife's ideas with openness and curiosity, she eventually determines for herself which dreams are over-the-top and which are worth fighting for.  I've also learned when the right time is for me to share my "Hows?"  Each spouse will be different on this.

So here's the challenge: Next time your spouse comes around with an idea, let them feel bold by not cowing it with "How?"