Why do happy people marry moody people?

It seems that in many marriages, one spouse leans on the moody side.  Why do generally happy
people marry moody people?  If you are the moody person what should you do?

This 30 minute podcast from Dennis Prager's Male/Female Hour is worth every minute.  Dennis speculates on the challenge and hears from callers as they discuss moodiness in marriage.

If you'd like to hear the Male/Female hour each week (It's the cheapest marital therapy you'll every get!), find Dennis Prager on the radio or subscribe to Pragertopia here.

For wives out there who don't think their man will listen to this, Dennis Prager's show has a 50/50 male/female audience!  It is both insightful and entertaining!

What to do about his wandering eyes

Have you ever been so hurt and maybe then ticked off because your man's eyes have turned and lingered a bit longer on another woman?  Ouch, right?!  What's a woman to do? (sigh)  Well, maybe....just maybe it isn't so crazy after all.  (What am I thinking!?!). Well, hold on....come and watch this 5 minute video and then tell me what you think.

A Woman Cannot Understand Men Without This! Take a Guess!

So, we're re-reading this book, The Queen's Code, for a book group thing we're doing for a couple of months.  We're super excited to be doing this alongside other couples who are willing to do this adventure with us!  This book is written by Alison Armstrong, whom we have found be amazingly perceptive when it comes to understanding male/female differences.  

Since this is a Sexy Saturday blog, I'm going to focus today on something related to intimacy from one of her chapters.  

“A woman cannot understand men, and bring out the best in them, without understanding their relationship to sex."

Ok, let's start with that quote.  It seems to me that there are three essential points:

1.  As women, our pursuit should be to understand men.

2.  As women, we should want to bring out the best in them.  It may not be our husbands if we're not married, but our brothers, fathers, co-workers, neighbors, good friends...etc.  

3.  As women, we need to understand the value of intimacy for them.

Wow!  That's a lot right there!  I mean, how many of us women are really actively trying to understand our men?  I mean, how much easier is it to joke, put down, ultimately emasculate them?  And then, to bring out the best in them?!  Yes, it's sounds like a good idea, especially if that man might be your husband, but do any of us know how to truly bring out the things that help them be their best self?  (Do we even know that for ourselves?!?  Maybe that should be another blog?!) And lastly, how many of us actively pursue trying to understand what sex means to them?  This seems like a tall order, right?!  Lol!  :)

Well, please don't be disappointed...but I'd rather be honest with you, I don't have the answers.  I wish I did!  It would be a lot easier, right! I could just tell you the magic secret and poof....an amazing, conflict-free, super happy marriage!   Well, it won't be that easy...but I am willing to learn and if you'll join me for the next few weeks on this Sexy Saturday blog, we'll explore some answers to how to understand men and their relationship to sex.  

If you have time, I would love your feedback and thoughts.  

What we can learn from teens about male/female differences

I'm a high school teacher by day and occasionally teach a speech course.  A year ago I decided to add a unit on the difference in communication styles between men and women.

One of my introductory activities is to have students respond anonymously to this prompt on a note

card: To Girls: What is one thing you wish men know about women?  And To Guys: What is one thing you wish women knew about men?

I thought it would be interesting to reflect on some of the replies.

Answer 1 (from a girl): "We think most guys are jerks because that's how we see most guys act."

There's 2 sides to this one.

In defense of men:
As a book said: men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti.  Men compartmentalize their lives, unlike women where all things are interrelated.  Since men find it natural to be able to put one thing in life aside to focus on another, this can easily make it appear that they are insensitive.  Women, generally, do not 'put things aside' in the same sense.

The ability to focus and shut other things out becomes very helpful at times, whether responding to an emergency or being able to recognize what is more important in a situation over other competing issues.

Therefore, women may need to see that "jerkiness", when expressed as not being emotional, is actually a great quality that helps relationships.

In defense of women:
Many men, because they can set their feelings aside to focus elsewhere, don't realize that women aren't designed to do this.  So, when a man treats his wife like he would treat another guy and ignores deeper issues, he may indeed be hurting her.  This is where we men must learn to be sensitive, sympathetic, and understanding even when our insights cry out for us to fix, push, or joke.

So, gentlemen, let's take a look at our own perceived "jerkiness" and make we're balancing our focus and our sensitivity.