Sexy Saturdays: Birth Order in Bed

So, how does Birth Order come into play in the marital bed?  Here's some interesting thoughts on this subject by Kevin Lehman, the author of The Birth Order Connection - Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life.


If you are a first born or only child, you most likely are very reliable and get the job done.  However, when it comes to sex, you might be a bit  (or mucho) controlling and demand sex be done in a certain way.  

As Leman says, "If you want to be a passionate lover, lose the demanding attitude!"

If you are a last born, most likely you are fun-loving and adventurous.  You're probably a bit (or VERY) affectionate in nature.  In bed, you probably like to laugh a lot.  :)  Although this sounds fun, a last born's tendency is to seperate what goes on in the bedroom from the other parts of his existence.  

"He may need to learn that if he expects his mate to respond to him sexually, he had better be more attentive to her needs the rest of the time - helping with the housework, learning to pick up after himself, listening to her when she needs someone to talk to, and so on".  

If you are a middle born, you most likely put others before yourself, have a tough time feeling needed and often think of yourself as the least special.  You are wonderfully accomodating to everyone else, but this all leads to an interesting contradiction:  being aggressive and competitive while also avoiding conflict.  

So, if you're married to a middle, take the time to draw him or her out.  Maybe doing a "sexual inventory" might help.  Middles will rarely tell you what they really want unless you pry it out of them.  

Bottom line:  learn to meet the needs of your spouse. And this may take you out of your comfort zone a bit.  

"Remember, a great sexual relationship is not where one person is satisfied, but two".  

How do you do this?  Think "them"!  Learn to put her first.  Learn to figure how he wants to be loved.  Study your spouse.  Take the time to do this.  It all takes a lot of time and energy, but when a marriage really works well, the rewards are so worth it!

-beth