Friday: Men, hold the barf can

In this past post we talked about how women can understand men's nature to want to find the point of

what a woman is saying.

Men, when you're listening you want to find out "the point."

Women, generally, do not operate this way.  Talking for them has value in and of itself.  Science shows that positive chemicals are emitted inside women purely from talking.

When a woman is upset, specifically, often she needs you to just hold the bucket.

In essence, she just needs to barf out all of her feelings and thoughts.  You just need to stand there and hold the barf can.

For some men it is hard to see how this has value, but to a woman, this is how she gets to solutions.

Here are three reasons for you to take this advice:

1. She's different than you.  

John Gray in Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus said that women have a well inside of them.  When upset, they go in the well and they need to get all the way to the bottom.  It will seem like she's getting worse initially, but that's because she needs to go all the way down.  Once she hits the bottom, then, and only then, she can come up.


2. It's actually the way to help SOLVE her problem.

As a man, what you can do is help her get to the bottom of the well by listening, asking questions, and letting her express.  She even may eventually want advice (what you've been wanting to give aaaall along!).

3. It takes off the pressure.

While everything inside of you usually is going crazy trying to figure out how to fix your lady's situation, if you know she's just in the well, you can relax, knowing that she doesn't need you to figure it all out.  The best solution is holding the can.

So, next time your wife, fiancee, or girlfriend seems to be headed into the well, happily grab that trash can, put the other arm around her, and let her have a go!