Mondays with the Maechners: What's the point?

What is the point?!!

This is the thought running through every man's head as he's listening to his woman.

Women can get mad at this part of the male approach to listening or they can try to understand it.  And isn't that what we all want?

Men, for the record, can be very good listeners.  The key, of course, is that since they are focused by nature, that's all they can do when listening.

So avoid trying to talk about something of value to a man when he's trying to head out the door, transitioning from work, or while he's attempting to accomplish some household task.

Now that he's focused, he'll be all there for you.  Men are really good at this when they can give you their full attention.

Next, he's thinking "What's the point?"  Why?  By design, men want to be heroes.  They are trying to determine what your problem is so that they can help fix it.  They want to rescue you.  This is one way love takes expression for a man.  Don't despise it.

However, you may not have a point.  You may just need to share something or many things.  Understanding his result-focused nature, telling him how he can help.  For example, "Sweetheart, I need to get somethings off my mind about ________.  I may not really have a point.  It would really help me a lot if you could listen to my thoughts for a few minutes."

This is helpful for him because:
1. you've told him what you're doing.
2. he doesn't have to hunt for a "point."
3. You've explained how he can help you, as in listen.

Give it a shot!