I know, I know. You
hear it all the time.
Men are aggressors. Men
are tough. Etc.
Certainly, this is important to a man. And not because, as the feminists would like
us to believe, men need to keep power over women.
The drive of a good man, and most are good, is to protect
and cherish women. Their toughness, when
healthy, is really all about you, ladies.
One woman that says thank you to a man who carries a heavy bag for them
is worth more than a hundred guys who say thanks for holding an elevator door.
But, because of this side of themselves, they often don’t
tend to their inner needs. They’re used
to suppressing their inner struggles so they can provide and protect. That is good…to a point.
Many men have very deep feelings and deep internal
struggles. Psychologist and author Dr.
Archibald Hart, based on his study of men, says, “Men don’t always know what
they want or how to get it. It is a
mistake to assume that men know how to find what they really want, or even to
assume they know what it is. They need
and want to discover the source of their deepest cravings. This journey of discovery takes time and
patience. It needs an understanding
environment. It takes lots of listening,
no judging. It thrives in an atmosphere
of acceptance, not rejection.”
Later, he comments, “So when a male finally begins to open up
it must be in the context of total acceptance with no condemnation. Men strike me as being more fragile at a deep
level than women.”
So, wives, it may take a long time for him to finally open
up, but when he does, remember that, while he seems like a tough even stoic
man, he needs utter grace and acceptance.
Even if you don’t like what he says, it is more important that he feels
free to be honest.
We’re obviously not talking about letting him be demeaning
or cruel. The goal is for you to be his
refuge, the one person in the entire world that he feels the safest with. And, ironically, if you can let him be ‘weak’
with you, it will make him feel stronger as a man. 
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