Heavenly Breakfast

Breakfast, it's one of my favorite meals of the day.  Last week,was such a delightful breakfast

experience that I just had to share about it!!  :)

A dear friend and I made the early am trek to Ohio City to experience Jack Flaps.

We hit the jack pot!

This restuarant is known for just breakfast & brunch dishes.  And they truly are amazing!

We ordered both something savory and sweet and split them.  I ordered theBreakfast Banh Mi.   Jen ordered the Lemon Curd buttermilk pancake.  

  

After just one bite, we knew we were in love!

Seriously, we couldn't believe how divine these dishes were....I mean, we kept sighing and moaning over these dishes!  lol!!      

The blueberry sauce and the lemon curd is a dynamo combo!  Add the graham cracker crunch and it truly puts you over the edge!

Then there's my egg and Vietnamese sausage...with that everything bagel cream cheese.  Yikes!  It was just heavenly!  (Yes, they might have these dishes in heaven!)

I had mentioned to Kurt before leaving that I'd most likely bring him home some leftovers....ummm, not so much.  That never happened as I ate it all!  So instead, I told him that we need to have a breakfast date soon and head over to Jack Flaps.

So, if you're looking for that amazing, a-bit-different-but-scrumptious breakfast, you might really dig Jack Flaps!  

You might not realize it but: men are fragile

I know, I know.  You hear it all the time.

Men are aggressors.  Men are tough.  Etc. 

Certainly, this is important to a man.  And not because, as the feminists would like us to believe, men need to keep power over women. 

The drive of a good man, and most are good, is to protect and cherish women.  Their toughness, when healthy, is really all about you, ladies.  One woman that says thank you to a man who carries a heavy bag for them is worth more than a hundred guys who say thanks for holding an elevator door.

But, because of this side of themselves, they often don’t tend to their inner needs.  They’re used to suppressing their inner struggles so they can provide and protect.  That is good…to a point.

Many men have very deep feelings and deep internal struggles.  Psychologist and author Dr. Archibald Hart, based on his study of men, says, “Men don’t always know what they want or how to get it.  It is a mistake to assume that men know how to find what they really want, or even to assume they know what it is.  They need and want to discover the source of their deepest cravings.  This journey of discovery takes time and patience.  It needs an understanding environment.  It takes lots of listening, no judging.  It thrives in an atmosphere of acceptance, not rejection.”

Later, he comments, “So when a male finally begins to open up it must be in the context of total acceptance with no condemnation.  Men strike me as being more fragile at a deep level than women.”

So, wives, it may take a long time for him to finally open up, but when he does, remember that, while he seems like a tough even stoic man, he needs utter grace and acceptance.  Even if you don’t like what he says, it is more important that he feels free to be honest.

We’re obviously not talking about letting him be demeaning or cruel.  The goal is for you to be his refuge, the one person in the entire world that he feels the safest with.  And, ironically, if you can let him be ‘weak’ with you, it will make him feel stronger as a man. 

No marriage can survive without this

According to Dr. Archibald Hart, a counselor, psychologist, professor, and author:

“No marriage can survive and be a happy one unless there is resolution on this important issue.”

What is this important issue?

Money?

Communication?

Compatibility?

It’s this:  “Every couple needs to work out a satisfactory sexual schedule.  Inability to work out a compatible sexual relationship is, in my experience, the most common cause of marital conflict and breakup.”

But how can you make sex happen when you don’t “want” it?  To paraphrase Alison Armstrong, author and relationship expert, Don’t let wanting be the cause of sex.  Decide to have sex and it will cause wanting.

Just like other kinds of romance, there is a short span of time in a relationship when you can’t help but be romantic.  But if you want that romance to continue, you have to do it even when you don’t feel romantic.  Suddenly, you’ll find that you feel romantic because you 
d e c i d e d 
to act romantic. 

So, work out a schedule.  How often do you want it?  If your spouse’s answer is different from yours (which is, in reality, the norm), then come to a compromise that satisfies both of you.

It will be worth your time…and it will make your time sweet.

6 Ways to Tell a Man What You Need

We have quoted before from the brilliant book by Alison Armstrong called The Queen's Code.  This
is yet another quote brimming with true wisdom.  Instead of us doing much commentary, we'll just let the book speak for itself!

How to Tell a Man What You Need

1.  Ask for a time to talk “about something I need today/tomorrow/next week.”
         •  Keep your voice warm (but not falsely light) so he doesn’t think he’s in trouble.
         •  If his body tenses up, come right out and say, “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.”
         •  Tell him how many minutes you think it will take and don’t underestimate to make it seem easier.
         •  Make an appointment.
(This is because he’s Single Focused and you want him focused on what you tell him. Don’t attempt a ‘Needs Conversation’ while he’s focused on anything else, like driving, dressing, eating, reading, etc.!)

2.  When it’s time to talk, thank him for what a great Provider he is.
(Men play for points — this lets him know he’s in a game he can win.)

3.  Tell him what you NEED. Use that word and be specific:
         •  When you need it, exactly, including how often if it’s an ongoing need.
         •  What it would look like. Don’t assume he’ll interpret words the same as you.

4.  Tell him what receiving this would Provide for you. Be specific:
         •  What you’ll be able to be/do/accomplish/handle.
         •  How it will make you feel and why that matters.

5.  Ask “The Partner Question”: Is there anything you need to give me what I need?
(And open your mind; it probably isn’t what you’d require.)

6.  Ask: Is there a particular way I can show my appreciation for you giving me this? (And open your mind …)

Excerpt From: Alison A. Armstrong. “The Queen's Code.” Routledge. iBooks.

Again, this book is worth it's weight in gold.  Consider purchasing the printed version or the online version (that comes with accompanying videos)

Chris & Hope - wedding film teaser

Chris & Hope had such a heartfelt wedding and they included this handpicked song that they chose for their ceremony.  It captures their spirits so well.

Enjoy this little teaser of their upcoming wedding film!



Chris & Hope wedding film teaser from For Real Wedding Films on Vimeo.

Intimacy: what I wished someone would have shared with me

As a woman, there are so many things I wish someone would have shared with me about sex BEFORE we got married or at least somewhere within the first 5 years of marriage!  :)

So, to be able to talk about sex in an open, transparent way often is really hard to find.  

 

But, we're willing to be transparent and risky here!  :)

What I wished someone would have shared with me:

1. I wished that someone would have told me that achieving really satisfying intimacy takes a long time (years) to develop.  It’s like a violin.  No one picks it up for the first time and cranks out a classical masterpiece.

2. I wished that someone would have shared with me that being able to enjoy the ride would allow me to relax and help get me more to a place where the elusive orgasm can occur.  

3. I wished that someone would have told me that orgasm wasn't the end-all-be-all to sex.  Sure, it is amazing…but it's not everything.  At that PAX conference we were at, Alison Armstrong hilariously described women’s climax as being like handling a slippery fish: hard to find and hold onto.  :)

4. I wished that someone would have shared with me that, as women, we take a long time to get tuned in and focused, and that by taking care of my man first it really helps a lot to get me more ready to be able to arrive to that needed, trance-like state.

5. I wished that someone would have shared with me the sex is an adventure - and to relax, and truly enjoy it.  There's up and downs, times we laugh and it's goofy, other times we hardly say a word…all so different.  But in the safety of each other, there's the freedom to be and not fear all the weirdness and awkwardness that just comes with our varying moods.  Nothing else helps as much as letting go and truly enjoying it.  

Yikes, that's honest.  I know that each of our experiences is different.  I hope that what we've learned is somehow helpful.  

A little love in unexpected places (hint: it's in a smoothie!)

Do you ever find it hard to buy that perfect gift for one of your parents?  I mean, my dad....yikes!  He's the hardest to shop for.  I think because he's so easily happy with nothing!  Never really NEEDS anything!  And my mom, well, she might be a little easier, but still takes a whole lot of energy to think through what she'd REALLY love!

 

Well, a couple of years ago now, we came up with the brilliant idea to buy her a Vita-mix blender.  It

ended up being a group gift from all of us. 

We nailed it!  :)

She LOVED it!

And if I'm completely honest, so did I!  For I got to try out her fun new gadget too!  And as we live next door to my parents, I got to try it out often!  Actually, I ended up using it so often that eventually the blender started staying at our house for longer and longer visits.  Honestly, I didn't mean to do this!  Really!  And then the (glorious!) day came when my mom said "Beth, why don't you just keep it as your house?  You use it more.  I know where to find it, when I need it."

I was torn!  Secretly, overjoyed....but, wait....this was HER gift!

Moms can be hard to budge, and well....the delightful Vita-mix is presently residing on our countertop.  And she is well used.  Daily she is enjoyed, and cleaned!  (thankfully she's easy to clean!  All we do is throw in warm water and a little soap in the blender & turn her on.  Rinse and done!)

My go-to for a healthy, yummy snack is almost always a smoothie.  Kurt, I would say, thinks it's a lot of work to do that when you can just grab an apple or a cookie.  (cookie, healthy?  Oh right, they were OATMEAL chocolate chip!)  lol!  :)

So, a recent smoothie obsession has been the following recipe.  It's so good and so healthy, it's just crazy!  I hope you enjoy it as much as we do.  (BTW, it's not the one in the photo!)

Chocolate Smoothie Bliss

1 c. almond milk (or any kind)

1/2 avocado

3 T cocoa powder

2 T agave

10 ice cubes

Mix and enjoy!  If it's too thick, call it ice cream! :)  We add mini chocolate chips on top for added pleasure!

When I make this for Kurt just because, he sighs....is reminded of how much I love him....and we both are so thankful that we bought that Vita-mix blender for us.....I mean, for my mom, many moons ago!