Drive-by love: making parenting and a love life work

As the amount of children in our house increased, we hit a point a number of years ago where we had

to choose between less sex or more drive-by sex.  The option that many seem to choose was to not to have as much.  My guess is that they didn't actually "choose" this option directly.  They simply fall into it because their sex life was a matter of mood and opportunity anyway.  And if there's one thing parenting does, it's that it squashes mood and dwindles opportunity.

We had long ago decided that our love life could not be left up to those two things.  This led us to scheduling it.  Each week on Saturday or Sunday we get out our planners and talk through our week together.  This includes all sorts of everyday plans, but also includes when we're going to make love.

Scheduling sex some weeks is more complicated than others, but we make it a priority to plan for it.  We've also had to plan for the real-deal and drive-by.  Our percentage of drive-by (otherwise known as the Quickie) is, unfortunately, higher than our real-deal time, but we see it as a way to keep us connected and satisfied in this season of our life, even though we both ultimately prefer more quality lovemaking time.

Someday, as our kids grow up, we dream of time when we can have a higher real-deal percentage than drive-by, but for now, we make it work and choose to love each other anyway.  In fact, those drive-bys help us stay flirty, bonded, and appreciative, and when it comes down to it: it makes us better parents too.