Blueberry Pickin'!

So once a year, we do blueberries!  

Our goal as a family is to pick as many blueberries as we can before one of our kids melt down and makes it almost impossible to keep picking!

  

This year it was a huge success: We lasted almost an hour! (I prolonged our stay by giving everyone the biggest suckers we have - our beloved tootsie roll pops. :)

So, we picked almost 30 lbs.  

What in the world do we with all those berries?  

Well, besides snacking on bowls of them late last night, we freeze most of them.  And then I try and use them sparingly throughout the rest of the year.  Try is the key word here.  It's the best when warm, fresh blueberry muffins come out of the oven in the dead of winter.  Or popping out those delcious, little blue guys with our maple syrup on otherwise boring oatmeal.

So, yes...we went picking!  Every year it seems to be more fun!  Our older girls actually are helpful and the younger ones...well...they try!  It has become a family tradition that we all actually look forward to.  

So, if you're looking for something to do this summer that could bring a little healthy blueberry love the rest of the year, check out your local blueberry farm.  

Blueberry Pickin' from For Real Wedding Films on Vimeo.

Here's the link to Martin's Blueberries, where we go.  

The Sweetness of Hospitality

A few nights ago, we had invited some people over to chat up married life stuff.  We love to do that kind of thing and well...that's what we do!  

I admitted to Kurt that I was kinda tired at the end of the week - didn't really want to go to the store, make dinner, clean the house, and so on.  I wondered if maybe instead of hosting, we could go out for dinner instead.

Kurt's response:  "Ummmm.....ok!! Sure, babe!" (Secretly, I think he was doing jumping jacks out of

happiness)  lol!  :)

So, as it turns out two of the couples couldn't make it, so it ended up just being us and one other couple.

Here's the best part.  

When I called and talked to the wife and suggested going out, she instead graciously offered her place and her delicious cooking.

"WOW!! Really?! I don't want you to be stressed at all," I said.

"Nope, I got this!  We'd love to have you over here,"  she responded.

Me:  Are you sure?!  Well....ummmmmmm......ok!  (and I was secretly doing jumping jacks now too!)

Wow, what a blessing! To be able to receive such gracious hospitality was such a gift to us.  We enjoyed the evening that much more.  

So, if you have been doing a lot of giving to others, be crazy and try something (even ask-eek!) where you can just take a back seat.

Or, if you have been on the receiving end of a lot of other people's hospitality, consider flipping it for fun and invite them to come and enjoy some time at your place.

Chris & Hope's Wedding Film!

Chris and Hope's wedding mixed the beauty of tradition and uniqueness.  It was our first wedding of this summer with the ceremony inside a church, Messiah Lutheran.  Several of the most powerful moments of the day happened there as we saw both of their sets of parents worshipping with passionate hearts and contented smiles.  Our favorites, though, were catching Chris looking heavenward and Hope, eyes closed in prayer, and basking in the pleasure of God's love.  The best part is to have actually caught this on camera too!

Then the uniqueness began as we celebrated their reception at The Fuller House at Bay Arts.  Moved from its original location by barge on Lake Erie in 1984, this historical home has been converted to the most unique ceremony location we have seen this year.  It was adorned with so many little details, chalk signs, nooks and crannies, and twinkly lights!

The miracle of the day was the fact that it rained-and I mean rained-all morning.  The forecast said to expect that rain straight through to the reception.  Well, low and behold, shortly before the arrival of Chris and Hope at the church, it tapered off.  We were able to film them outside at Huntington Beach and in a lovely wildflower field with nary a drop!  

Here are the delightful vendors we had the privilege to work with:

Photography: Full Bloom Photography

DJ: Classic DJ Entertainment: Tom Geiser

Florist: Zelek Flow Shop, Inc.

Reception: The Fuller House

Chris & Hope's Wedding Film teaser from For Real Wedding Films on Vimeo.

8 Things Husbands Wish Their Wives Knew About Men

If you could survey husbands about what they wish someone could tell their wives about male sexual nature, what do you think the men would say?

Dr. Archibald Hart, a retired senior professor of psychology and dean emeritus, a licensed psychologist, and author of 33 books found out the answer to this question.

In his book The Sexual Man, Hart states, “here are some of the most common messages I’ve been asked by frustrated husbands to communicate to their wives.

1.       I’m not abnormal

2.       I can’t help it if I come on strong sexually

3.       If I inadvertently look at another woman, it doesn’t mean I desire her over you.

4.       Once in a while I would like you to initiate lovemaking

5.       I like a bit of novelty now and then, and I wish you understood that.

6.       I don’t want our kids to spoil our sexual life.

7.       Sometimes it’s not sex I’m wanting, just time together….Husbands fear that their wives are avoiding [any] intimacy because they assume it will lead to sex.

8.       I like to talk about our sex.  Why don’t you?”

Friday List Days: Boundaries

Do you say yes more than no to other people’s demands?

Do you get resentful of all the things you do for others?

Are you good at hiding resentment with a happy face?

Do you often feel guilty if you let others down?

Do you feel like a victim?

Do you find yourself smiling when inwardly you are angry…but feel selfish that you are angry?

Are you overstressed or overtired because you’re trying to meet other’s expectations or needs?

If you relate to these it’s likely that you are a people-pleaser. 

Welcome to the club!  I was one for a very long time.  And while I still tend toward being accommodating, I have come a long way in asserting myself.

A seminal book on the subject is simply named Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. 

The beginning principle is this: We are responsible for us and what is in our boundaries.  We cannot control what belongs in other people’s boundaries, nor is anyone else allowed to control what is in our boundaries. 

The following are ours and no one else’s:

Feelings

Attitudes and Beliefs

Behaviors

Choices

Values

Limits

Talents

Thoughts

Desires

Love

No one can make us do anything.  But for those of us who are people-pleasers that seems so untrue! 

The authors state, “Compliants take on too many responsibilities and set too few boundaries, not by choice, but because they are afraid.”

Fear.  Because of fear we open our borders and let people trespass on our property. 

I’ll try to explore that some more soon.

Brad and Lauren's Photos

This past Saturday we had the honor of filming the wedding of Brad and Lauren.  They were such a sweet couple!  We spent a lot of great time capturing Lauren and her bridesmaids getting ready.  They were so welcoming-even offering us a chance to partake in some much-appreciated Subway sandwiches!

Below are just a few photos from our amazing photography partners at Imagine It Photography.  Stephanie and John do amazing work.  For more photos of Brad and Lauren's wedding, click here.

Beth and I have our creative juices flowing as we continue to create Brad and Lauren's wedding film. We're really liking it!  We'll keep you posted on the progress.

Intimate Frustration

Figuring things out can be fun and well...super frustrating.

Here's a video of Celia, our youngest, trying to figure out how to make this toy car work for the first time!  She really has no idea!  lol!  :)

Here's something that is also super frustrating to a lot of young couples: Physical intimacy!

Yikes!

No one really talks about it, right!  In a helpful way, at least.

So, after our post about it last week, it was the most reached blog in months (minus wedding videos)....why?

Well, I think it's because it's super hard, confusing, and takes a lot of work to figure out...and again,
NO ONE really talks about it!  But secretly, I think, everyone, wants to figure it out!!  :)

So, this reminded us of the difficulty of intimacy.  When we first get married, we might have read a book or two, or got some advice from a good friend, but for the most part, we really don't have a clue as to how it all works.  I mean, we know how "it's supposed" to work, but to making it work - yikes, this is a huge learning curve!

H - U - G - E!!

 And for many of us, myself included, the beginning was really, really hard.  Like Celia with the toy car, we're pushing buttons, but have no idea what they do or how they work.  We are often just spinning our wheels, hoping that something might "make that car go"!  ;)   And the crazy part is that we think it should all work just magically and not only that, we should love the journey!?!

What?!

Here's what one dear friend & reader shared the other day:

I have said so often that there are a lot of things I wish someone had told me before we got married. I think for women raised in the church it's especially challenging because we are taught to stay pure for so long and then one day sex is not only allowed but expected. And this thing that you have been anticipating for years and expect to go perfectly just doesn't. And things don't always work right at first. I remember crying myself to sleep on our wedding night because I felt like a total failure and like I was the only one who couldn't figure everything out because no one talks about it after they get married!

So, if this is you....or if you can relate at all, (I was here a long time....longer than I had hoped!) I want to encourage you, not to give up.

Your spouse is worth it.

You are worth it.

Work together and find help in books, people, blogs, counselors, and trustworthy friends and family.  Believe it or not, you're more normal than you think!