1 tip to get a man to do what you want him to

Psst.  Want to get a man to do something you want him to do?

Here's how:

Accept that he doesn't want to do it.

Uh, really.

I know this does not seem helpful, but let me explain.

Taking out the trash, cutting the lawn, moving the furniture around, cleaning the dishes, putting the kids down at night...none of it, for a man, is worth doing.

Great, right?

Here's the thing: for a woman, just completing those tasks is satisfying.  Not so for him.  He works hard at his job.  Those tasks are not intrinsically motivating.

But something else WILL motivate him.

A man is hard-wired (by God I would say) to yearn to be a hero, especially his woman's hero.  A hero is eager to do a task when he knows exactly how it will rescue someone.

So, if he only thinks that the dirty dishes annoy you, that is not motivating to a hero.

He needs to know what it will provide for you.

For example, "Sweetheart, when you take care of the dishes after dinner, it really makes me feel appreciated and helps me enjoy making nice meals for our family.  Plus, it gives me time to relax so I can be in better spirits to enjoy our evening together (maybe even in bed tonight :) ).

Suddenly, washing the dishes becomes an act of heroism.  He now knows what it provides for you.  Nothing else is as motivating to us guys as providing for our woman.

This is distinct from nagging.  That demotivates because it implies that you don't think he wants to help you and it also doesn't give him a chance to be a hero.  It only gives him a chance to get off your back.

As Alison Armstrong puts it, "You are the person for whom he most wants to be, and needs to be, a hero. This means you are the center of his results. You are the reason for his results.  Men play for points. And it is your points that he wants the most."

Excerpt From: Alison A. Armstrong. “The Queen's Code.” Routledge. iBooks.
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