What it takes to change a marriage

Not long ago, we were encouraging a couple to work through some issues in their marriage.  In the next few days, they did just that.  And it was...painful.

Consider the sheer weight of a locomotive and its train.

How does this incredible load move?  Power, of course.  But that's not all.  It takes...sand.  

Locomotives from the days of steam to modern diesels have sent those little rock particles known as sand down to the rails to help the locomotive's wheels find a source of traction.  There, as that grit is crushed and broken beneath the drive wheels, a massive train can finally build up the momentum it needs to head towards its destination.

When an issue in a relationship has been at a standstill, it wants to stay there.  It takes incredible will power for a couple to try to move out of that stationary spot.  

To make things worse, once they exert that will to change, they will need traction.  That will mean doing some crushing and breaking of sand under the wheels.  It will take breaking silence, crushing some selfish expecations, and going willingly into difficult conversations.  

What you will find, though, just as the couple I mentioned in the opening, is that if you work through that breaking period, you will find the momentum that you need for the long haul.  They have, and are finally seeing some movement where there had previously been little and it is opening up new tracks ahead of them.