A victory of communication over assumption!

It was a late night.

We got the kids down late

We were cooking late.

The kitchen was a disaster.

We had to get up early to visit an out-of-town friend.

Bad news...but we had a victory.

Usually, in this situation here's what would have happened: After the kids were down, I would have wanted to clean the kitchen by myself, but wouldn't have said so.  You see, if I did, I figured Beth would have not accepted my idea, mainly because she would feel bad leaving it all to me.

But we've been working on telling each other what we really need.  I explained that I wouldn't mind cleaning up the kitchen on my own because I could listen to a podcast (which I love to do) and I would enjoy the non-people time (I'm an introvert).  I also told her that I know she would be her best self tomorrow if she got more sleep (I can live off less than her).

And hallelujah!  Beth happily believed me and we both got what we needed: for Beth, a clean kitchen and more sleep; for me, time to myself and some good political podcast listening time.

It has taken us a long time to get here, but it's sooo good.  Give it a try.  What do you really need that would help you be your best self?  What does your spouse need to be her best self?  Ask each other, tell each other, and make it happen.