Saturday, May 16, 2015

Not so Sexy Saturday: Why Men Won't Marry You

Nearly a quarter of American men never marry.  Just two years ago the number was at 17%.  What's going on? 

Author Suzanne Venker in her article "Why men won't marry you" on Fox News wonders if it comes down to two reasons men are avoiding marriage:

1. "Because they can."  Men express love most strongly through sex, but times have changed and women have made it much easier to get sex without commitment.  To be fair, men aren't complaining.  Either way, Romeo & Juliet don't need to pull of a secret wedding to consummate their love; they just need a backseat. 

Men also want a family, but more and more, they don't need marriage to get that either.  The number of children born out of wedlock has risen significantly.

2. "There's nothing in it for them."  As our universities have worked strenuously to break down all gender expectations and convinces millions of young people each year that there is no difference between men and women, this leaves men wondering what their role is anyway.  Do women need or even want a provider or protector anymore?  Is a husband just another friend with sexual benefits?

Plus, if a couple eventually gets a divorce (which Venker points out is usually initiated by women 65%-90% of the time), men are likely to lose all: money, kids, respect, love, sex.

Should we, then, criticize men for being averse to commitment?  Or are they just taking stock of reality?

Or, if I may pontificate, has culture so perverted relationship values that marriage simply becomes one of several valid options for couples? 

May it not be so for our children.  Amen.


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