What is your family's marriage heritage?

My grandfather, Gustav, died in World War II.  Not in the US military.  He fought for the Germans
(my father was always clear to point out that his dad was "not a Nazi").  We don't know how he died.  He is technically missing-in-action.  The Red Cross believes that he died somewhere on the Russian front.

My dad was only 5 years old when the war ended.  He only saw his father once when his unit was stationed near their home.

I've often wondered about my grandfather's life and his marriage to my grandmother.

1. How did they meet?

2. Were they happily married?

3. What was it like when he had to leave for the army?  Did he volunteer?  Was he drafted?  Was it a tearful parting or a bitter one?

4. Did they write letters back and forth?  When the Russian front progressed further into Germany in 1944 and 1945, my grandmother's family had to flee.  They burned everything in the stove including all photos (minus one-the only photo that exists of her husband, my grandfather).

5. What was it like not knowing if your husband was alive?  How long did she hold out hope?  (She had to choose to declare her husband officially dead since he was never found.  She did this in 1960). Did she ever wonder if he was wasting away in some Russian prison camp?

6. Why did she never marry again?  My grandmother, Meta, raised her five children, lived until she was 85, and remained single for all those years.  Did she ever dream of her husband?  Did she miss him?  Did she forget him?  Could she still hear the sound of his voice?

My dad admits that he never thought to ask these questions until his mother had died.  The answers to these questions, then, will likely remain a mystery for me.

I wonder sometimes: what influence did my grandparents' marriage have on my parents' marriage?  And, then, of course, did some of that come to me and my relationship with Beth?

The origins of our family's marriages play a role in our present ones.  Is it time to ask those questions of your family to find out what marriages have come before you?  There's so much to learn, if only we have the guts to ask the questions while we still can.