Getting in the mood with...oxytocin? Huh?

As we have mentioned before, Kurt and I went to a PAX conference in LA.  It was called

Understanding Women.  Last May, I went to one entitled Understanding Men.  This past summer, this was the first time we had done a conference like this together.

It was simply...amazing!  I hope to do a little series of some of the gems related to intimacy I picked up at the conference.  Not only is it great for this blog, but it's really good for me personally to go back through what I learned and process it and then......the key piece....apply it!  :)

Gem #1:

The value of oxytocin for women to increase a woman's desire for sex.

Oxytocin!?!  When the key speaker, Alison, mentioned it I couldn't really tell you what that was. I definitely had heard it before, but what was it exactly?  No clue!  lol!  

So, as I googled oxytocin, to find out what this magic gem was and here's what I found: "oxytocin is also known as the love hormone.  It is plentiful in lactating women and released by men and women during orgasm."  But that's not all!  

It's also associated with boosting trust and empathy and reducing stress and anxiety!  

"The higher your oxytocin, the higher your happiness and well-being, at least for women," says Paul Zak, PhD, a researcher at Claremont Graduate University in Claremont, Calif.

WOW!

Ok, so my next question was how do I increase my oxytocin levels?

At the conference, Alison Armstrong shared how our culture today doesn't allow for oxytocin to grow.  And if a woman doesn't have enough oxytocin to have have sex, the amount that we need to expend, then we end up either dreading sex or feeling depressed about it.  (Not exactly a turn-on for our spouses!)

How to increase oxytocin

So, again....what can help, I wondered? What can increase oxytocin?

Alison mentioned that when a woman is in a "gathering" mode, this produces the beloved love

hormone.  What is gathering you might ask?  Well, the best way I would try to explain it is this:  opposite of what our culture does - NOT RUSH! 

Gathering is resting, slowing down, more being....things that are really hard to do, right?!  But, when I think about what helps me get into the mood, it's usually taking a nap, getting extra rest, taking a lingering bath, going for a walk, getting a little space, stepping away from the kiddos, stepping away from the computer....etc.  Alison mentioned that rhythmic hand motions seemed to also be a practical way of increasing oxytocin.

Admittedly, I thought that seemed a bit odd.  Rhythmic handmotions?! What in the world?

She continued explaining that things like:  knitting, painting, crocheting...etc.  allowed for plenty of time and allowed a woman to slow down, breathe more deeply and help build that sweet love producing oxytocin.  

So, I'm in process here with you all in this...but what do you think you and I could do today that might help us build some of the wonderful love hormone to bless our spouse?!  Give it some thought and I'll do the same! :)