What we can learn from teens about male/female differences

I'm a high school teacher by day and occasionally teach a speech course.  A year ago I decided to add a unit on the difference in communication styles between men and women.

One of my introductory activities is to have students respond anonymously to this prompt on a note

card: To Girls: What is one thing you wish men know about women?  And To Guys: What is one thing you wish women knew about men?

I thought it would be interesting to reflect on some of the replies.

Answer 1 (from a girl): "We think most guys are jerks because that's how we see most guys act."

There's 2 sides to this one.

In defense of men:
As a book said: men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti.  Men compartmentalize their lives, unlike women where all things are interrelated.  Since men find it natural to be able to put one thing in life aside to focus on another, this can easily make it appear that they are insensitive.  Women, generally, do not 'put things aside' in the same sense.

The ability to focus and shut other things out becomes very helpful at times, whether responding to an emergency or being able to recognize what is more important in a situation over other competing issues.

Therefore, women may need to see that "jerkiness", when expressed as not being emotional, is actually a great quality that helps relationships.

In defense of women:
Many men, because they can set their feelings aside to focus elsewhere, don't realize that women aren't designed to do this.  So, when a man treats his wife like he would treat another guy and ignores deeper issues, he may indeed be hurting her.  This is where we men must learn to be sensitive, sympathetic, and understanding even when our insights cry out for us to fix, push, or joke.

So, gentlemen, let's take a look at our own perceived "jerkiness" and make we're balancing our focus and our sensitivity.