Getting married in a mansion in Cleveland

Did you ever dream of getting married at a castle, a palace, or a mansion?

Well, the Western Reserve Historical Society is pretty darn close.

When I heard we would be filming a wedding there, my first thought was: Isn't that the place with the car museum?

Indeed it is, but I had no idea that they also had this amazing courtyard perfect for a pristine, intimate, yet royal wedding.

The Western Reserve Historical Society is actually housed in an Italian-renaissance style mansion built in 1911.

For Alex and Sloane's wedding, the bride and her bridesmaids get themselves ready in the old library, adorned with books, and thick wood-paneled doors.  They exited into the former main hallway, past sweeping stairways and a stone fireplace, and then out the double doors, graced with wrought iron gates to reveal the former gardens.  There the wedding guests awaited on white wooden chairs while a harpist played.

You don't need to go to Europe for any of this.  It's right here, near University Circle in Cleveland.

Take a look below to see a short segment of Alex and Sloane's wedding and the beautiful Western Reserve Historical Society mansion.


Cammock clip from For Real Wedding Films on Vimeo.

How to speak Menglish

HELP!!! 

Recently our kids have been way into the movie Big Hero 6.  The main character Hiro really struggles to let his friends help him.  His "independence" nearly destroys him.

Why can't I ask for what I need?

Why does that seem so hard for a woman?

Is it because... 

...we have to admit that we're in need?

...we're not perfect?

...we don't have it together?

...we have to let go of some of our independence?

...we simply need help?

Asking for help is one of those menglish words.  

What is menglish? Great question.  It's English that men really understand!   

So, in saying "I need your help" it makes a man act like a dog when it spies a squirrel. It's tracking it down immediately!

So, when you need some help, realize that you're allowing your man to be your hero and help you.  Men are hardwired this way.  

And really, that's what he strives to be....YOUR hero!  :)

An Idea for eliminating meal stress

Once upon a time, prepping meals was a daily animal.

Once upon a time, copious amounts of my day were spent in prepping for each meal, especially dinner.

Once upon a time, I spent hours one day a week getting ready for our weekly grocery shopping.

Once upon a time, my stress over these issues became a stress for my husband and family because well...I was cranky.

We've changed the whole system, baby!

Once a month we do this crazy thing we affectionately call our OAMC extravaganza.  A fun name helps everything.

OAMC=Once A Month Cooking

What do we do?  We grocery shop for the month in one day.  Then we cook and make mixes for the whole month in a day and a half.

So, how does it all work?

My gracious hubby gives me several hour stretches during a week to plan out all the meals on a chart.  Then when the next Wednesday hits, we pile the kiddos in the van.

Sometimes we see if we can find a poor soul to join in the fun and hit the stores!

We hit five stores: Aldi, Marcs, Schwebel's Bread Outlet, Costco (where we have pizza for dinner too!), and finally Heinens.

We try to make it fun with our little ladies too.  We race at Costco.  The winners get to pick out the
dessert or do the happy "We won dance!"  (That was our friend Rachel's-in the pic-idea).  We drive the fun car carts at Heinens, and get candy at Marcs.  So we shop in a couple of hours and call it a day after we get it all packed away.

Then Friday rolls around and after Kurt comes home from work and gets a little relax time, we start cooking to our little hearts' desires.  Kurt puts on the fun music mix and then it really starts to get funky with James Brown.  Saturday starts early and we usually finish around dinner time.  We end the evening with a fun family night.

While even this process was stressful it has changed.  It started out that way until we get the swing of it.  Now it is a great routine that has become somewhat fun.  While it's busy for a few days, my hubby reminds me in all the intervening weeks-it's worth it for this-a de-stressed wife on a daily basis.

Happy wife=Happy life!

1 tip to get a man to do what you want him to

Psst.  Want to get a man to do something you want him to do?

Here's how:

Accept that he doesn't want to do it.

Uh, really.

I know this does not seem helpful, but let me explain.

Taking out the trash, cutting the lawn, moving the furniture around, cleaning the dishes, putting the kids down at night...none of it, for a man, is worth doing.

Great, right?

Here's the thing: for a woman, just completing those tasks is satisfying.  Not so for him.  He works hard at his job.  Those tasks are not intrinsically motivating.

But something else WILL motivate him.

A man is hard-wired (by God I would say) to yearn to be a hero, especially his woman's hero.  A hero is eager to do a task when he knows exactly how it will rescue someone.

So, if he only thinks that the dirty dishes annoy you, that is not motivating to a hero.

He needs to know what it will provide for you.

For example, "Sweetheart, when you take care of the dishes after dinner, it really makes me feel appreciated and helps me enjoy making nice meals for our family.  Plus, it gives me time to relax so I can be in better spirits to enjoy our evening together (maybe even in bed tonight :) ).

Suddenly, washing the dishes becomes an act of heroism.  He now knows what it provides for you.  Nothing else is as motivating to us guys as providing for our woman.

This is distinct from nagging.  That demotivates because it implies that you don't think he wants to help you and it also doesn't give him a chance to be a hero.  It only gives him a chance to get off your back.

As Alison Armstrong puts it, "You are the person for whom he most wants to be, and needs to be, a hero. This means you are the center of his results. You are the reason for his results.  Men play for points. And it is your points that he wants the most."

Excerpt From: Alison A. Armstrong. “The Queen's Code.” Routledge. iBooks.
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Sexy Saturdays: He Wants You

One of my complaints when reading marriage help material is that so much of it seems to tell you what ought to be true of men and women instead of facing reality.  

This video is not for the faint of heart.  It faces reality.  We can all wish men were different.  Even some men wish this about themselves.  

Or we can try to understand.  We can see the way men are and find out that it doesn't have to be bad.  Men and their visual nature has long been a conundrum to women because it is so dramatically unlike themselves.  

You may not like what you hear in this video, but if you can look and understand your man you may find that the monster that you thought was within your husband (trust me, every husband has it, even those saintly ones), may not be a monster at all.  

Not only is the monster not a monster, but your man actually wants you more than any other woman, no matter how supposedly more attractive you might think they are.

Why men ignore things that scream at women

In this past post we looked at how things "scream" at or "talk" to women.  Certainly piles, messes, or

unfinished projects can cause incessant noise inside a woman's head.  This can be annoyance to a man, or he can see it as a chance to help bring her some peace.  The key is for him to tune in to the things that scream at her.

On the flip side though, it helps women to understand why men seem to ignore things that drive you crazy.  It's easy to think he's doing it on purpose.  Or he's a slob.  Or he doesn't care about you.  In fact, for good men, none of these are true.

Alison Armstrong in the Queen's Code explains the male approach.

“The makeup of the masculine brain causes it to focus on one result. It commits itself to the accomplishment of that result, and screens out everything that is irrelevant to that result. This is virtually the opposite of the feminine brain.”

This is "why a focused man can be completely unaware of a woman’s frustration.”
He is not ignoring you.  In fact, "He would have to focus on that and be doing nothing else.”
For women, their "diffuse awareness makes every task worth doing. Even the smallest thing, like picking up socks, quiets something in her environment. Something that is condemning her for allowing it to exist imperfect!  But not for a man! Since his brain screens out everything irrelevant to the result he’s focused on, something is only worth doing if it’s part of his result.”

Excerpt From: Alison A. Armstrong. “The Queen's Code.” Routledge. iBooks.

And what are these results he's so focused on?  A man lives his life earning points.  And the place he most wants to earn points from is you.  He will spend his life providing for the woman he loves (if she lets him).  So often the very reason he seems to be ignoring that thing that is screaming you is that he is focused on something else that he sees as a way to provide for you.

For Real Wedding Films gets a mention on The Knot!

For Real Wedding Films makes its first appearance on The Knot!

Family friends Alex and Sloane had a simply stunning wedding last August and we had the privilege of being their videographers.  Their wedding was so stunning that it landed them an article on the ever popular wedding site called The Knot.

Our friends Stephanie and John at Imagine It Photography did an amazing job photographing the wedding and their photos grace the article.

At the bottom of the article the other vendors of the wedding got mentioned too and we are there on the list!  No link, but hey, you can't have everything, right? :)

Just wanted to share our little joys with you all!